Why we cannot buy their excuses. It’s a fine line, I think, with not buying someone’s excuses. The fine line is between being perceived too pushy or being perceived as somebody that is too understanding, and by default, not getting people results because I think at the end of the day we all have excuses. We all have an area in our life, or a few areas in our life, where we procrastinate. As we do that, I think, as we go through those excuses and those challenges, it always helps, the person that can help you the most, is the one that challenges you, right? The one that doesn’t accept your excuse and challenges the status quo of you making peace with that excuse so you conform with it.
Okay, so let me explain what I mean. When somebody comes to me and says, “I don’t know if I can talk to people.” I have two options always. One is to say, “I understand. You don’t need to do. It’s okay.” Or to say, “I understand what you’re going through,” and asking them further questions. Again, it’s about the quality of questions that you ask that person. “What is it that makes you feel that way?” Because at the end of the day, that’s what you want to find out.
What is the feeling that they have where they feel overwhelmed and they feel that they are not able to get themselves to talk to someone. It goes back to, again, what is the why. Why are they doing what they’re doing? What is the core reason that they’re doing this business? What is the core reason why they should be talking to people? Because when you know their why, you have an opportunity every time to remind them of that reason why they’re doing this business, what they’re running away from, for example. What is that pinpoint that they never wanna have ever again and that is the very same reason why they should be able to get out of their comfort zone to actually talk to that person, for example.
I think the reason why you should never accept anyone’s excuses is because you are not doing them a favour by doing that. I think sometimes tough love is the biggest kind of love that you can give to someone. You might not be perceived as the nicest person in the world, but I think longterm, when you’re able to do that with grace, when you’re able to actually understand that person and actually push them through that challenge and that excuse that they have, I think longterm people come back to you and thank you for actually giving them that moment of tough love.
Never accept anyone’s excuses. If they want to keep them, they can keep them obviously. I’m always ready to let go of them and those excuses that they have, but I’m going to always be that person that is going to ask for permission to give them that tough love and move them forward, if they choose to.